When I first started writing this blog I had no intention of turning it into an autobiography. My intention was to write a few of the things I have gone through in the hopes it would help someone avoid some of the mistakes I made. Somehow however it has turned into a long walk down memory lane, and although some memories are better left alone I can not tell the story of my journey and leave any thing out. The things I have seen and the things I have done will probably shock some people but if it helps them avoid some of the places I have been to, well that's a good thing. When I speak of my alcohol and drug addiction at this point in the story we are still at the beginning which was 15 years ago. I was just beginning my journey into addiction and homelessness and was still unaware that I was suffering from severe depression. I have read and watched on TV stories about depression about drug and alcohol abuse and the homeless and believe me most of the so called experts have no clue. I have traveled the road from Key West, Fl. to Seattle Wa. sleeping outside and in homeless shelters in from one to another and all points in between. So here we go.
I remember the ride from the VA hospital to the Mental Institution. It was about 30 miles away and they had some nurse in the back of the ambulance watching me.I guess they thought I was going to try something on the trip but they had pumped so much Thorazine into me I could not take a piss by myself let alone kill myself. I just remember this nurse sating next to me holding a syringe in her hand the whole trip. I guess she thought the sight of it would keep me in place. She was right. The one thing remember most about my first trip to the Lock-up as we called it, they lock you on a floor and only you out 2 times a day. Supervised smoke breaks, if you don't smoke you will start just to go outside. Anyway the thing that sticks out the moist was my roommate. He would spend 2-3 hours every night having a conversation with the door knob. One night while he was talking to the door knob one of the orderlies came in and when he opened the door my roommate got mad and jumped on the orderly. I guess he was mad that the orderly interrupted his conversation and went nuts. What I didn't know was that my roomate was a professional kick boxer. About 15 minutes and 20 orderlies later they were able to get him down and shoot him up full of Thorazine. They took him to the T-room (room were they took people to tie down and medicate) and that was the last I ever saw of him. I heard that they shipped him off to the permanent Mental Institution. They kept me there for two weeks and then one day woke me up and said it was time to go. When I told them I had no where to go they looked at me and said not there problem. Thus begins my journey into the world of homelessness.
I remember the ride from the VA hospital to the Mental Institution. It was about 30 miles away and they had some nurse in the back of the ambulance watching me.I guess they thought I was going to try something on the trip but they had pumped so much Thorazine into me I could not take a piss by myself let alone kill myself. I just remember this nurse sating next to me holding a syringe in her hand the whole trip. I guess she thought the sight of it would keep me in place. She was right. The one thing remember most about my first trip to the Lock-up as we called it, they lock you on a floor and only you out 2 times a day. Supervised smoke breaks, if you don't smoke you will start just to go outside. Anyway the thing that sticks out the moist was my roommate. He would spend 2-3 hours every night having a conversation with the door knob. One night while he was talking to the door knob one of the orderlies came in and when he opened the door my roommate got mad and jumped on the orderly. I guess he was mad that the orderly interrupted his conversation and went nuts. What I didn't know was that my roomate was a professional kick boxer. About 15 minutes and 20 orderlies later they were able to get him down and shoot him up full of Thorazine. They took him to the T-room (room were they took people to tie down and medicate) and that was the last I ever saw of him. I heard that they shipped him off to the permanent Mental Institution. They kept me there for two weeks and then one day woke me up and said it was time to go. When I told them I had no where to go they looked at me and said not there problem. Thus begins my journey into the world of homelessness.
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