If your not already depressed try moving. I just finished moving from Texas back home to Alabama. Funny, I how the place we grew up will always be home. I haven't lived in Alabama in 25 years yet it will aways be home. Maybe it's because most of my family still lives here or maybe it's because most of my fondest memories are here moving threw the trees like a sow fog. Seems to me that the older I get to more I cling to those memories of my youth. The days I thought I had something to worry about, the days that I used to think were going b to slowly. How I long for the days of hanging out at the standard gas station on Friday and Saturday night. The days of swimming in the pond just off that old country dirt road,but mostly the days when the word depression was meant for someone else.
I was looking at a picture of myself this morning. I was 4 years old according to the writing on the back. I do not remember taking that picture but I could from the background that I was in my Grandparents backyard. I don't remember ever looking in a mirror and seeing that 4 year old face looking back at me. I noticed however, a smile on my face that I do remember. It was a smile that spoke of a time in my life that said all is right in the world, a smile that said the world is mine to conquer. Then my mind was drawn back to that group of young men and women and my new found discovery that all of a sudden I was scared to death of standing in front of crowds. Little did I know that this new discovery was just the beginning of a journey thru a darkness that few experience. A journey of alcohol, drugs, and homelessness.
For a long time I thought the homeless was just something you saw on TV. Growing up in a small rural town in central Alabama homelessness was not something I had any experience with. This was something that only happen in the large cities in this country. A had a stereotypical few of the homeless as a old white male, long dirty white or grey hair, long unkempt greying beard, torn dirty rags as clothes. I could vision this person lying in a alley somewhere with a empty bottle of cheap wine. I would learn that it's mental illness that most homeless people suffer with. I now know that my struggles with alcohol and drug addictions was a direct result of my mental illness. I am happy to finally finish my moving and am trying to get accustomed to the changes that have occured in the last 25 years. I have learned that sometimes a walk through yesterday is what I need to get through today. Now that I have move I can return to writing about my struggle with severe depression and I hope you will make this walk with me. Till next time.
I was looking at a picture of myself this morning. I was 4 years old according to the writing on the back. I do not remember taking that picture but I could from the background that I was in my Grandparents backyard. I don't remember ever looking in a mirror and seeing that 4 year old face looking back at me. I noticed however, a smile on my face that I do remember. It was a smile that spoke of a time in my life that said all is right in the world, a smile that said the world is mine to conquer. Then my mind was drawn back to that group of young men and women and my new found discovery that all of a sudden I was scared to death of standing in front of crowds. Little did I know that this new discovery was just the beginning of a journey thru a darkness that few experience. A journey of alcohol, drugs, and homelessness.
For a long time I thought the homeless was just something you saw on TV. Growing up in a small rural town in central Alabama homelessness was not something I had any experience with. This was something that only happen in the large cities in this country. A had a stereotypical few of the homeless as a old white male, long dirty white or grey hair, long unkempt greying beard, torn dirty rags as clothes. I could vision this person lying in a alley somewhere with a empty bottle of cheap wine. I would learn that it's mental illness that most homeless people suffer with. I now know that my struggles with alcohol and drug addictions was a direct result of my mental illness. I am happy to finally finish my moving and am trying to get accustomed to the changes that have occured in the last 25 years. I have learned that sometimes a walk through yesterday is what I need to get through today. Now that I have move I can return to writing about my struggle with severe depression and I hope you will make this walk with me. Till next time.
